Overcoming hopelessness | Nick Vujicic | TEDxNoviSad | eJOY English
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Thank you very much.
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Guys, my name is Nick Vujičić,
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I was born in Australia in 1982,
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moved from Australia to California in the year 2006.
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And my life story - I'm just thankful
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that people have seen my life
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on some sort of level - whether it's just YouTube videos
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or seeing pictures of a limbless guy smile.
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You know, people always ask me
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what happened to you
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and how did you overcome what you've been through?
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The title of the message that I've been given
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is "Transforming the walls into doors".
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When I speak corporately,
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the line that I like to use is
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"changing obstacles into opportunities".
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Now, I am very well aware to share with you as well.
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I know that there are a billion people going hungry today.
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I know that this year, a million people will commit suicide.
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That is one every 40 seconds.
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I know today there are 120 million slaves
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and I've met six slaves
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and I've seen the top of the pyramid as far as business
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and met the billionaires.
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I've met bankers and I've also met orphans.
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We're all looking for something.
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We're all looking for hope.
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Hope you can't just have just because you were born with hope.
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No, we're born with pain.
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We're born and live through difficulties.
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In our life - my parents always taught me
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that even though we don't know
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why I was born this way, that we have a choice.
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Either to be angry for what we don't have
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or be thankful for what we do have.
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The power of that choice was the first thing
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that I had to overcome and decide for myself,
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especially in the early years of school.
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A lot of kids would come up to me and tease me.
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And I have been speaking at 5 congresses,
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I've met 7 presidents all around the world.
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My largest crowd was 110,000.
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I have 30,000 invitations for me to speak.
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So wherever I go, I talk about the value of life,
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I talk about anti-bullying messages
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for the school systems in different nations.
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The greatest thing is love.
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When we feel like we don't have enough love
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and we don't have enough hope,
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we start losing strength to live.
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For me in my life as a child, I had a big wall.
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I was surrounded by four walls and a low ceiling of opportunity.
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I was set free in so many different ways
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and especially surviving from day to day
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with my parents who loved me, who encouraged me,
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who told me I was beautiful the way that I was
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and not to worry about what other people said about me.
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I was actually the first special needs child
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to be integrated into the mainstream education system in Australia
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and I was awarded Young Citizen of the Year in 1990.
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And the world is a hurting place and the world needs hope
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and the world needs love.
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Without hope, we feel like, 'Why are we here?'
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Well, brokenness.
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Here's mine.
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Today, I still have no arms and no legs, but everything's changed.
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Everything.
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For me, I was looking for hope and happiness
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and I couldn't see it for many years.
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In fact, if this side of the table represents my hope,
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truth encourages me to become all that I can be.
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But then we have lies, everyday,
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coming in our mind, people who discourage us.
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You know the people that you have in your life
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who, no matter how good of a day you're having,
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they'll bring you down?
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Or no matter how bad of a day you're having,
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they'll bring you even lower?
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You know what I'm talking about?
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Think of the three biggest discourages in your life.
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They're not your biggest discourages.
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You are.
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It only takes 3 seconds for me to tell you something discouraging
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but then, you may never forget my words.
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I've met so many 50-year-old women and 40-year-old women
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who still remember what their fathers told them
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that they wish they'd never heard.
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Words are powerful.
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And when you hear those words
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and then your mind starts growing with these lies.
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"Nick, you're not good enough, just give up, you'll never get a job",
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"You won't get married, you can't even hold your wife's hand".
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"What kind of a father are you going to be
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if you can't even pick up your kids when they're crying?"
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You're alone. Sure, your parents hug you.
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But their hugs can't heal you.
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Just give up. Just give up. Just give up.
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At age 8 I thought that I should commit suicide. Why?
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Because I didn't have hope. I thought I didn't have hope.
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Today you can see that I had hope.
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What's the word, believing in something you do not see? Faith.
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Words can only do so much. Hugs can do much more than words,
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but when hugs can't do anything, that's where faith kicks in.
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For me, words and hugs were not enough, but I had no faith.
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So I tried to give up.
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At age 10, I tried to drown myself in 6 inches, or 15 centimeters of water,
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in my home.
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I told my dad I just wanted to relax, but really, I wanted to end my life.
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I had enough. (Serbian) I had enough.
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The first two times I rolled over.
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I was trying to work out how much air I hold in my lungs before I let it out.
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And the third time, in my mind, knowing that I wanted to get out of here,
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because of the bullying in my life,
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because I was going to be a burden to my parents
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and I had nothing to look forward to.
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I realized at that moment
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that if I actually went through with committing suicide,
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I would leave a greater burden for my parents than they already had.
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There was one thing less hopeful or more burdensome
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than having a child without limbs.
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What is it? A child without limbs who gives up.
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So when I saw in my mind my mom and my dad
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and my brother crying at my grave if I went through with it,
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that one thought saved me.
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If my parents never told me that I was beautiful the way I was.
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If my parents never told me that I was special and that I was loved,
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I wouldn't be here today.
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So I encourage every single parent
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who tries their best to encourage their teenagers,
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especially in the West, many teenagers put a 'do not disturb' sign on their door.
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I'm sure, the conversations all around the world between a parent and a teenager:
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How was school? - Fine. - What did you learn? - Nothing.
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- Did you do your homework? - No.
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And that's the conversation for the day.
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And when you try to tell your children that they're beautiful, they say,
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"Of course I'm beautiful, I'm your son, your daughter,
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of course you're going to say that".
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But they're right.
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Every single human being has value
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and my value is not determined on how I look
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or what job I have, or where I'm from, where I was born,
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how much money, all that stuff is nothing.
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So many teenagers, you know, tease each other
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for how we look and I tell the teenagers,
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"Do you think that I'm cool enough to be your friend?"
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And they're like, "Yeah, of course".
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I say, "But I have no arms and no legs", and they say, "Doesn't matter."
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And I say, "Really? So it doesn't matter that I have no arms and no legs?"
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They say it doesn't matter.
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I say then, "Actually, if it doesn't matter,
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then why do we kill each other with our words,
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if it actually doesn't matter?"
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Why do we look [at] ourselves in the mirror
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and see ugly instead of valuable?
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I want to ask you today, what are you looking for?
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If I gave you a billion dollars, would you be happy?
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If you gave me a billion dollars, I'd be very happy.
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But then if my mom dies tonight, am I happy? No.
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With all the money in the world, I'd never be happy.
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Right? Because money is something that cannot heal the soul.
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So many teenagers are looking for love which, love does heal the soul,
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love does complete the soul.
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But even sex before marriage, I was a virgin before I got married.
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Yeah, I've got a gorgeous wife, we're pregnant with our first son.
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And I don't need hands to hold her hand.
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I only want to hold her heart.
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And you know, how am I going to hug my kid?
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So many kids that come up to me, it's amazing.
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They put their hands behind their back and hug me with their neck.
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And I've realized in life, even the worst parts of my life
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can be turned into good.
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And even more special.
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So many teenagers are looking for love so they are going to go do this,
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and go do that and have sex before marriage.
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For me, sex out of marriage is like a 5 dollar Gucci watch.
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Sex within marriage and having sex with someone
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who loves you, who is committed to you for the rest of your life,
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going to be the mother or father of your kids, that's what love is.
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You can sleep with as many people as you like
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but never know for sure, "Do they love me?"
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Love is a life-long commitment. You see, there are choices in life.
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And we're looking. I want to ask you, what are you looking for?
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If I can just drunk, why not, man? I'll only live once.
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Well, if that's the way you believe, great.
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But for me, I'm a greedy man, I don't want to live for 90 years.
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I want to live for billions of years.
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And I know that every day, my choices will affect this life,
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other people's life and my eternal life.
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You've got to come to the truth of knowing who you are and why you're here.
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William Barkley, he said, the greatest two days in anyone's life -
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the day you were born, and the day you knew why.
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So, "Uh, you're ugly".
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No, I'm beautiful the way that I am
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and if you can't believe that for yourself
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so many girls, especially, stay with their emotionally abusive boyfriends
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because, "If I break up with him, then who is going to want me? "
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See, we all want love.
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That's why we do what we do sometimes.
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To get into the crowd -
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I am going to swear, I am going to be cool -
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that's what this world is -
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"I want to look like her, if I was taller, shorter, smarter, more popular" -
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whatever you want, it's not enough.
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Until you find the truth.
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I'm wonderfully and faithfully made.
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There is a greater purpose for my life.
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I am here for a reason.
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Sure, I didn't get a miracle.
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Yeah, I believe in a God who can do miracles
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and I have a pair of shoes in my closet.
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Why? I've seen blind people seeing and deaf people hearing.
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That's fine if you don't believe me, I've got it on camera.
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But I realized something.
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If God doesn't change my circumstances
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he's going to use my life to be a miracle for someone else.
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When you don't get a miracle,
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you can still be a miracle for someone else.
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I'm going to close off with this beautiful story.
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I was in Southern California -
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I have 2 organizations,
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a non-profit organization and I have a for-profit.
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I probably spoke between years 2007 and 2010, 1000 times, 600 flights.
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And I've spoken to 4.5 million people face to face
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and in the last 48 hours here in Serbia, we've reached 5 million through media.
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So, we have the heart of people to love others.
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We want people to love each other, love yourself
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dream big and never give up.
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We are all looking for hope, aren't we?
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What are you looking for?
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Money, drugs, sex, alcohol, pornography, fame, fortune.
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Never satisfies.
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It's never enough.
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But I have come to a peace, so check this out.
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When I was 24 years old, 5-6 years ago, I was in California.
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And I'd never met anybody else like me.
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When I was 10 years old, I wished I would have met somebody like me.
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Never did, didn't get that miracle.
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But at 24, in Califronia, I saw a little boy
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with no arms and no legs, 19 months old, just like me.
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I knew he was going to be bullied,
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he was going to go through depression, he would feel alone,
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I knew that he would get worried if he's ever going to have a girlfriend
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and so on, and so on.
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I got the father to bring him up on stage in front of 2000 people.
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And everyone was crying.
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And it was a materialization of when you don't get a miracle,
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you can be a miracle for someone else.
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I am not a superhero, I go through ups and downs, so do you.
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But take one day at a time
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and if you haven't found that peace of knowing who you are and why you're here
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and where you're going when you're not here.
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For me, I want you to know that's how I've overcome.
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I don't have any walls.
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My book's called "Life without limits" and what will be, will be.
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I've acted in a short film, 30 awards.
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I got best actor in a short film.
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I've done my own music video.
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I've written 2 books, first book - 30 languages, 800,000 copies.
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I'm 29 and we know a billion people know who I am.
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Not to bring out my pride or my name or my status,
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trust me, I'm just like you.
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But I hope you are inspired to know
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that if I can dream big, so can you.
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There are no walls.
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Find your peace and you'll make your walls doors.
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Thank you so much.
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Overcoming hopelessness | Nick Vujicic | TEDxNoviSad

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Nick talks about the importance of parenting in early childhood and it's significance in overcoming hopelessness.
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