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why-happy-couples-cheat-esther-perel

Relationship therapist Esther Perel examines why people cheat and provides a new framework for understanding relationships. A must-watch for anyone who has ever loved.

Adultery has existed since marriage was invented and so too the taboo against it.

In fact, infidelity has a tenacity that marriage can only envy so much so that this is the only commandment that is repeated twice in the bible.

Once for doing it and once just for thinking about it.

So how do we reconcile what is universally forbidden yet universally practiced?

Desire runs deep, betrayal runs deep but it can be healed.

And some affairs are death knells for relationships that were already dying on the vine.

But others will jolt us into new possibilities.

The fact is the majority of couples who have experienced the fair stay together.

But some of them will merely survive and others will actually be able to turn a crisis into an opportunity.

They'll be able to turn this into a generative experience.

And I'm actually thinking even more so for the deceived partner who will often say you think I didn't want more but I'm not the one who did it.

But now that the affair is exposed, they too get to claim more and they no longer have to uphold the status quo that may not have been working for them that well either.

I've noticed that a lot of couples in the immediate aftermath of an affair because of this

new disorder that may actually lead to a new order will have depths of conversations with honesty and openness that they haven't had in decades.

And partners who are sexually indifferent find themselves suddenly so lustfully variations they don't know where it's coming from

Something about the fear of loss will rekindle desire and make way for an entirely new kind of truth.

Now you've listened to me and I know what you're thinking.

I look at affairs from a dual perspective.

Hurt and betrayal on one side; growth and self-discovery on the other.

What it did to you and what it meant for me.

And so when a couple comes to me in the aftermath of an affair that has been revealed, I will often tell them this.

Today in the West, most of us are gonna have two or three relationships or marriages.

And some of us are gonna do it with the same person.

Would you like to create a second one together?

Loving yourself is important, especially when you're in a romantic relationship.

Love And Self-Love

Find out how smartphones and social media apps affect people and their relationships.

Does Technology Ruin Relationships?

The young and the old share what they think about having a lot of money.

Kids and Seniors Talk About Money

Let's learn more about the brilliant ideas of the famous Japanese contemporary artist Yayoi Kusama.

Brilliant Ideas From an Artist

For Koreans, the Western concept of "going Dutch" or paying for one's share is something unusual.

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Why happy couples cheat | Esther Perel

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Why happy couples cheat | Esther Perel

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